This guide on how to make a girl want you will take you thru the 10 most important things you need to learn in order to make that special girl really long for you. Let´s get started!
1. Work on yourself
The first step of learning how to make a girl want you is realizing that you will be working on improving yourself not trying to change her perception of you. You can´t change other people the only person you can truly change is yourself. If something isn´t working you need to look within yourself for what that to improve. You want to become better with women? You won´t be able to change the mindset of the billions of women in the world but you can change your own! Is it possible to go from never having been close to a woman physically to becoming a Casanova? Yes! Will the change come over night? No!
I´m sorry but there is no pill you can take or flirting technique you can use that will instantly make you become a success with women. This isn´t the matrix where you can learn a new skillset within seconds, and yes being good with women is a skillset just like any other. The only thing that breads success with women is making a habit of working on the skillset constantly. Let´s say you become 0.1% better every day at getting women to want you. Do you know what that adds up to over a year? It adds up to you being almost 38 times better with women after only one year! Why? Because the percentages start adding up, you will not only become 1% better of your original self you will become 1% better of your new self every day! Imagine how good you will be after 3 years, 5 years and 10 years!
Conclusion make it your mission to work on one skill every single day from now on, however small, things will start adding up and soon you will have difficulties finding room in your calendar to meet all the hot women that are longing to be your girlfriend!
2. Take control over your destiny!
As of today the blame game is over, the things that happen to you aren´t caused by outside events. There is an equation taught by Jack Canfield in several of his book titles (most famously Chicken soup for the soul) which reads. E+R = O.
E represents the Event that happens, R stands for your Reaction to the event and finally O represents the Outcome of the event. When you are in a low state of self you usually focus on the actual event that happened and neglect the reaction part of the equation. This mindset causes feelings of helplessness and victim behavior. If the event that occurred is causing your emotions you can´t affect your feeling since you can´t change the event! If you believe this reality then you will never be able to control your emotions. You start complaining about this thing or that thing or she did this and he did that. Stop it, take control over your life!
An easy to understand example: You are on a train that has run late one full hour and you are on your way to your first date with a beautiful woman! Most people will start getting really stressed out about this event. They loop the event over and over
in their mind and start thinking about all the possible negative outcomes of the event thus neglecting the reaction part of the equation. What you as a reader of how to get a girl to want you should do is think of what you can do to improve the outcome, i.e. you can call the woman up and explain the situation. Maybe she will cancel on you maybe she will wait and be a little annoyed that you didn´t arrive in time. Either way you´ve done what is in your power to improve the situation, now leave this event aside. The thing that makes you feel stressed out is your reaction to the Event not the actual event!
Take control over your life
3 Stop apologizing
This does not mean you should go around treating people poorly for no reason and refusing to apologize after having mistreated them. One reason people apologize is to get another person’s approval, you apologize, without it carrying any weight, to get another person to like you. Many times the apologies are based on what you think will please the other person. You think they may dislike something about you or something you´ve done so you apologize “just in case”. Make it a rule to not apologize for anything for a month and after that start apologizing when there is something worth apologizing for. When you stop apologizing for existing and start doing so when you´ve actually done something you regret people will respect you more.
4. Create an interesting life for yourself
What do you think is most interesting to listen to, how you climbed Kilimanjaro or how you spent all summer sitting in your basement playing computer games? To become an interesting person you need to have interesting stories to tell. How do you get them? By living an interesting life!
Take it upon yourself to welcome new adventures into your life. If you´ve seen the movie “Yes man” You will know where I’m going with this. This movie is about a very bitter and pessimistic man who joins a cult where you are not allowed to say “NO” to anything. You have to always say “YES”, no matter what the proposition is. Following this law the man who once was very boring suddenly goes from one adventure to the next.
Saying yes to exactly everything is not what we want to achieve but keep an open mind and start looking for interesting things to do. Go watch (or maybe perform) stand-up comedy, try a new sport, travel to places not commonly seen by tourists do some volunteer work etc. Make it a habit to at least try things out a couple of times before you utterly reject them. Your universe will expand and you will very soon be the most interesting person the woman has ever met.
5. Tease her
What does tease mean? In this case it doesn´t mean making fun of her in a way that makes her feel bad, do it in a fun and loving way. If she gets angry or sad you have probably crossed the line. If you combine teasing in a fun way with body contact this can be extremely powerful. For instance if she is complaining about something pointless you can just stroke her cheek a bit, fake looking really sad and say “you poor poor girl, how will you ever survive this” and then remove your hand. If done correctly you will get a positive response, she might say “I can´t believe you said that” to test you out or she might push you or hit you gently.
Another example is when you are walking next to her on the street you can start pushing her slowly towards things so she almost walks into them then tease her for being drunk and not being able to behave properly in public. By teasing the girl in this way every now and then you build anticipation and a fun vibe between the two of you. If done right it shows that you´re not that lame guy who just wants to impress her, you can afford to build some tension because you know she will like you anyway. For more info on teasing read the guide on how to get a girl to like you.
6. Find your purpose
Finding your purpose will give you a strong unmovable core. A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder. Even the smallest waves will cause you to start drifting away slowly but surely. If you´ve never thought about your purpose before you need to sit down and really consider what you´re values in life are. Not knowing your purpose in life is trying to hit a bulls eye with an arrow while blindfolded after having been spun around. If you don´t know where your goal is how can you ever hit it?
7. Develop integrity
What this means is that you have a strong sense of what you will and not accept, not only from other people but also from yourself. If a woman behaves badly towards you or another person and you happily cheer her on while doing so she will lose her respect for you, if you don´t respect yourself no one else will either. A woman will constantly test you sometimes consciously but most of the time unconsciously to see that you are a man of integrity. If you start failing these tests you will notice her interest dropping quickly.
8. Stop putting women on a pedestal
When most guys meet a beautiful woman they have a tendency to put on a pair of shades which only sees her strengths but ignores all of her weaknesses. Have you ever had a girlfriend that you thought was perfect but after you broke up with her you couldn´t figure out what you ever saw in her. What you did was idealized her. When you idealize someone you make it more difficult to connect with them on a higher level since you are only being observant on their positive characteristics.
Putting a woman on a pedestal makes you accept a lot of behavior you normally wouldn´t think is okay because you simply ignore it. Whenever you meet that “perfect” girl, stop remember this post, think to yourself I need to stop idealizing. When you idealize a woman you are basically giving away all your power and integrity. You are willing to accept anything to get into bed with her and this alone makes her loose interest in you. Men with high value will not accept low quality behavior no matter how beautiful the woman is or how many good qualities she has.
9. Stop seeking her approval
Seeking approval does not only mean looking for her permission to do things, it is a part of it but not the whole. Seeking approval also means trying to act in a certain way to be accepted by the social system or group. You see approval seeking behavior around you all the time, people dress in a certain way to fit in with the group. They say certain things hoping other will like them. Approval seeking is one of the most unattractive qualities anyone can have, this will kill any attraction a woman ever had for you in a heartbeat. When you seek a person´s approval you try to modify their image of you by acting in a manner which is not coherent with your true self. You start doing things like psychologically clinging to her and wearing out your welcome.
When you consider yourself as lower status then the woman you are dating you easily fall into the trap of trying to get her approval. High status people don´t look to others for clues on how to act, they are the people others look to for clues on how they should act. You may want this woman but you don´t need her so don´t act like a needy little approval seeker. Don´t brag, buy things to impress her, don´t try to have the perfect response to everything she says. This only makes you look like another try hard guy wanting to get into her pants.
10. Make her want it more
Every woman has a couple of things they really enjoy, it may be that special way you touch her, a certain type of food or maybe chocolate. Make it a habit to not give into her needs and wants immediately, make her build up some anticipation and let her truly yearn for them. Women really enjoy knowing that they are going to get the thing they want but not being able to decide themselves when. This is for instance one of the keys to giving a woman pleasure in bed, more on that in another post. Whenever you find something she really likes, tease her about it make her want it, then make her want it some more and when she least expect it you give it to her. This shows her that you can take a strong lead and it will make her dream wet dreams about you every night!
How to make a girl want you – The good news and the bad news
If you read thru this entire post you probably noticed that it wasn´t filled with techniques. Most people when they start something new want to learn the new shiny techniques. Techniques is not want will bring you to mastery basics is what will make you the best, having a solid foundation. I have trained alot of martial arts and dancing and this hold true within the world of sports aswell as in the world of attracting women. The bad news here is that becoming good with women wont come over night, the good news is that you can become better then you ever imaginged if you just make sure to follow step 1 in this guide, that is work on yourself every single day. Now you know the secret of how to make a girl want you make sure to put in the effort required!